I have had the most life changing weekend of my life so far. I am cautious about my enthusiasm and optimism because I have tried so many things and been so disappointed so many times but I do believe that it is possible that I might have found a healing that will work for me at last. I have spent the weekend learning how to Throat Sing with Dr Vladislav Matrenitsky, http://www.un-hun.com/un-hun_en.html , a Ukrainian medical doctor who learned from a Tuvan Shaman in Siberia. I keep getting told there are no coincidences but I don't know what other word to use. Four years ago while I was visiting Mum in hospital every day, I saw a concert advertised near St Andrews. It was a three hour drive but I knew it was important to give myself a treat. The singer who I went to see, had come to one of my mask workshops many years ago and I had always wanted to see her live - she sang celtic ballads and Indian music from her dual heritage and she was brilliant. However that night she shared the bill with Hun Hur Tu, a band of Tuvan throat singers. I sat on the floor at the front of a barn by the sea and balled my eyes out silently as their music washed through me and I saw the land and spirits where the music came from. I am not sure if anyone saw or was embarrassed or discomforted by my tears - I felt quite private - aware of a full auditorium behind me but feeling completely alone with the music and my grieving heart.

Then last week I saw a flyer about a workshop teaching Tuvan throat singing and I woke up far earlier than usual on Saturday, in time to make it for a 10am start. Anyone who knows mw knows that this is a miracle in itself. Vladislav is a methodical teacher with a warm heart. He was completely confident that we could all do everything he asked of us and showed no surprise at all as each one of us managed each of the three types of singing, producing sounds that I imagine is something like the sounds angels make.

I still cannot quite believe that my voice, which can barely hold a tune, can make the sound of angels singing in the cavities of my head and body and that these sounds can dissolve chronic pain that I have had for years. The owner of the house we worked in kindly gave me huge clumps of Mombrisia, a flower that my mother loved, which needed to be planted the next morning. I was up at the crack of dawn, wide awake, but needing a bath to ease aching and tense muscles, and after some singing was miraculously able to start planting. However, I was too enthusiastic, as is my wont, and got very hot and sore and unable to move long before all the planting was done. I was so upset that I swore and beat myself up and envisioned a load of dead plants lying in my garden. My guest heard me and offered to help after her yoga and I suddenly realised I could sit down and throat sing. Within a few minutes I was able to finish planting in the back of my cottage and after another rest and throat singing, my guest and I planted the rest and got some serious weeding done into the bargain. Later that morning, a local crow called to me and I replied in throat growls with overtones.