Solstice full moon etc

After writing my solstice moon reminder, I watched a programme on itv 1 about music and spirituality - it was Evelyn Glennie - the percussionist who I have had the priviledge to have seen live. She has always inspired me with both her words and her percussion. She spoke about improvisation as being pure self expression. The drum I made which is often flat in this damp climate was singing with the fire and the moon and I did let rip - just improvised very loudly. I will never be in the same league as Glennie but I felt a sisterhood with her in that moment - I did not need her gift of rhythm or her skill to communicate with and through my drum.

During the drumming, I was given two important insights - one personal about valuing and feeling valued by my friends - the second was scary and profound and I am not sure that I can put it into words....

The status quo, by which I mean capitalism, patriarchy and christianity have all seperated us from our planet. If we really experienced oursellves as part of her, we could not hurt her or each other. We would also have to take responsibility for what each of us do since we are all one and we cannot solve problems by blaming bad or evil people and feeling because we are not bad and evil we have some right to tell them what not to do! The solution is simple but I do despair of everyone agreeing to it....

Have also heard quite a bit abou evil greed destroying he planet and would like to offer an alternative view... Is it not so thatt the most greedy people are in fact the ecologists? They/we are after all wanting more of the beautiful earth for as long as possible and they/we are prepared to pay and do quite a lot to achieve this end. I just wonder if we can look at greed as a neutral human quality that can drive people and harness it rather than condemn it?

I have been watching some lovely - breathtakingly beautiful programmes about earh and space - did you know that Jupiter being so big draws comits and debris away from the earth.? Did you also know that the moon is moving away from us by 3cm per year?

It has not been comfortable, trying to be present with my feelings and honest. I am still not at all sure what it is all about for me and whether it is permanent or temporary but it has been surreal watching from the sidelines as most of my world and tv world participates with tinsel and lights and presents and jolity and romance and nostalgia. This season of good will has seemed to me more than ever before to be a season of of coersion. Even when I have been downright rude, people have still sent me cards, wished me a merry time and gone into great, uninvited, detail about their happiness in complete confidense that I would enjoy hearing about it. I even replied o one of these monologues with "I am a bit negative about the whole xmas thing" only to get an agreement that they had had a very bad xmas once and then more about how great this one was!!!

My grumps are easing now as i oprepare to see an old friend from across the world who Has promised not to mention the x word! I also watched "Kiki's Message Service" again this afternoon and my heart softened a bit more... It is an old japanese dubbed cartoon feature film. I think this is the third time I have happended aupon it and I can thoroughly recommend it. I had never seen the very begining before and it starts on the first full moon after a young witch turns thirteen - how much more magical could a film be????