xmas lies

As for xmas - it was very important for me to admit all the crappy things about it for me - It is so very, very long since I spent it with somebody that I loved and I have been pretending ever since to join in by sending cards and presents and saying "Happy Xmas" and really not being able to join in because one of the truths about xmas is that there is nobody else around because they are all with their families, whether they want to be or not, and there is only one thing more depressing than xmas on my own and that is xmas in some other family who are being kind - nomatter how kind they are, it is even more obvious to me what I am missing....

What I have realised about xmas, by trying to be honest about how I feel, is that most of it is a horrible lie and that is so sad. The biggest lie is father xmas - the whole world pretends that he exists - why cant the whole world pretend something useful like world peace or an end to hunger???? - I do have nothing against presents and magic and love but if anyone came down your chimney any other day you'd call the police wouldn't you? And would the police believe him if he said he wasn’t a thief but had brought presents? And wouldn’t they then call sniffer dogs and/or the bomb squad? And if you told your teacher or social worker that your parents let a strange man into your room to give you presents while you slept can you imagine he investigations? And if the parents then insisted that they had been lying to you and that it was them all along???? And how many people spend how many millions in therapy over the lies their parents tell them anyway????

The reason that I hate the lie about father xmas is not the lie, but because, when a child finds out about the lie, xmas is never the same again and they stop believing in magic and I think that is very, very sad and might even be the reason that we put up with war and famine and dictators etc etc - When we stop believing in magic, we stop believing that we can help to change our world and we stop believing that change can happen...

It has taken me many years, not to restore my belief in magic, but to experience magic and know that it exists every second of every day of every year in my enchanting life on this awesome planet and I know that with the help of magic I can and do make a difference.

At this moment, I do not know how I will experience xmas next year but I suspect it might be even more magical!